Why We Quit the Van Life


So, we went MIA for a couple weeks…okay! maybe a month or two. Sorry. Like I said before, I hate schedules because I am TERRIBLE at abiding by them. I think it’s the free spirit in me, or at least that’s what I like to blame it on. For the most part — I make up my own day as I go.

And finally,  I have convinced my ass to sit down and write a much needed blog post on what we have been up to, or lack thereof. But I would definitely say we have been busy, busy, bumble bees.

I sit here eating a bowl of grapes, while The Beard tells me, “Not everyone can sit around all day and eat grapes.” So he is outside in the SNOW painting a dresser. Of course, at this point, I’m like your a lazy you-know-what. I should probably working on something. And I know all of you are just dying to know my whereabouts and my life story. KIDDING! Sometimes, I pretend like I’m some famous person who everyone wants to know everything from where I pee to what I ate for lunch. And other times, I just look like Forest Gump and really need a shower. So I’ve compromised with myself. No not everyone wants to know everything about me so I’ll only share the juicy parts. And — if you want to listen, I’m more than happy to share. If not — read some Melissa McCarthy or Amy Shumer and that shit will keep you entertained for hours.

Onto the good stuff, why we quit van life. If any of you have been reading this teeny tiny blog, you will know that we had more than our fair share of van problems . Mechanically speaking.


Before we set off on our great adventure, we slaved our souls and managed to scrape up $1,800 for a 1998 Ford e350 van.  So yes. We knew it would come with problems but not this many! After 15,000 miles in 2 months, we managed to blow out a transmission, bust a fuel pump, get stuck in mud up to the axles (no joke!), and crack some fuel lines. No big deal right?

Ha ha! I just think of all the shit we went through with that van and I can’t believe we did it all.

This seemed to be the story of our lives for two months.

We saw picturesque mountains, gorgeous snowfalls, sandy beaches, and tropical hikes, but we saw w. This trip was a very big risk for us. We saw way too many tow trucks and had swiped our plastic cards a few too many times. Okay, we aren’t poor by any means. Neither bathing in liquid gold, but we work hard for our money. So to see massive amounts of money being taken from us to fix our van was really upsetting us. Even still, if it was just a hundred bucks, we would still be trying to nickel and dime the person taking it from us. Like I said, we work really hard for our money so we try to keep as much of it as we can. We are super tight with money and spending thousands on an old van just wasn’t what we expected were in the cards for us.

Oh how naive! Or maybe we slipped the rose colored glasses on and didn’t want to take them off. Either way, it’s over now. Bitter-sweet for us. Glorious for our bank account.

We had two main objectives for our cross country excursion: 1) find a forever place to live and 2) find somewhere where there is more to do than just eat and drink.

After the fuel lines decided to play super soaker on the highway, we came to the conclusion that we needed to accomplish objective Number 1.

So over van life!

We had our eyes set on Klamath Falls, OR because it was the only place even close to Midwest housing prices. So, we saddles up, shoving everything from our 55 sq ft into a 20 sq ft Kia Optima. Needless to say, Georgia’s back was up to the ceiling…and she was laying down. Poor girl!

Georgia Peaches was so happy to be back at Grandma’s!

Let’s keep it short and say that Klamath Falls wasn’t what we expected. Too many drugs and not enough jobs for people to afford to buy houses. Hence, we wouldn’t have a job if we couldn’t sell any of the houses that we flipped. However, the location of Klamath Falls was amazing. Three hours to the Redwoods, 2 hours to the beach, 1 hour to Crater Lake, and endless parks nearby.

In the end, we decided Iowa really had more to offer when it came to house flipping. So, we went where the money was — so to speak and bought a tiny house on the outskirts of town. Bigger lots, less house to take care of. And that also came with the luxury of being able to open your windows and not having your neighbors hear every word you said. We’re getting closer to where we want to be! Almost an acre is now in our full possession.

Never did I think we would have already completely owned 2 houses by my early twenties. Like no mortgage. No nothing but our outright asset.

And then the good stuff happened.

The in-laws decided they wanted us to completely renovate their basement into a kick ass bar room. And so the three week renovation ensued while we waited to close on our tiny home.

That will be its own post because yes, we made it into a KICK ASS BAR ROOM, just like we promised. I’ll even let you know that my father-in-law wouldn’t leave all night when we revealed it to him and he even wanted to sleep down there.

Don’t worry. The flooring isn’t in yet.

But for now, we’re moving into our tiny house. Renovating it. Cleaning mice pooplets up. Making it look adorbs and renting it out on Air BnB. So ya’ll better stay tuned cuz this shit’s about to get real bohemian on ya.


The Beard + The Bohemian

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